I am getting hooked on “WEEDS”

// September 1st, 2009 // What's Poppin

I first started watching WEEDS solely because I had met Hunter Parrish and his mom during the press junkets for “Freedom Writers” since Hunter played the freaked out white boy in the movie. I of course am a fan of 420 so it was not hard to sell me on the idea of a show called “Weeds” lol. I became a loyal viewer because I fell in love with all the fucking madness that is going on in this show. Last night was the season finale and if you missed the episode. Read what happened and then watch it again damnit!!

Nancy wanders into a room of her house to find a pushy masseuse waiting for her. A gift, that she can’t turn down. Nancy tries to relax as the masseuse (Rachel Ticotin) works on her. Nancy complains that men are weak and women are strong – at least until they fall apart. The masseuse tells Nancy she has a lot in common with the boss, they’re both strong. And then it turns out she’s talking about Pilar. The woman who sent her. All the tension comes racing back.

Celia makes a screwdriver out of concentrate in her hide-out in a storage facility. Doug drops by. “There you are, you feral bitch,” he says by way of greeting. They try to hash out the terms of a sale of her plants. Doug’s got $37 to his name. She suggests credit. He checks out the supply, but recognizes it as not his pot. She realizes he knows she stole his weed. By his logic, this means that pot (from Ignacio) is now his. They scuffle over the bag, with Celia keeping a firm grip on her pitcher of screwdrivers, until Doug threatens to call that black cop on her. Now she knows he knows about the cop and that she was set up. She wallops him upside the head with the glass pitcher, polishing it off with a swig.

Nancy talks to her surly son Shane, who doesn’t say much of anything any more. He tells her to go feed the baby. Silas comes in and she mentions she breast fed both of them.

Silas gets a call from Adelita. She’s calling from her room and wants him to come up. Shane advises him to wear a condom.

In Adelita’s room, she asks him to bring her her laptop, which is four feet from her bed. He refuses. “Go f— yourself, Princess.” Then she tells him half of her body has gone numb and she wants to go online and find out why. (Um, maybe heroin?) She says it’s happened before, when she injected into her wrist. “Holy s—, you’re a junkie,” he says. “I’m a recreational user,” she insists. He says he’s going to call her dad. She tells him not to, saying she thought he was cool. He points out that she never thought that. He turns to go. She asks him to shoot her up just once before he goes. And then she pukes.

Andy leads Audra (heretofore known as Dr. Alanis Morissette) into the garage, covering her eyes. He claims to have a sexy surprise for her. It’s a new minivan. He sold the General Lee and a few arcade games. He also unregistered their phone number so Gale the pro-life stalker can’t find them and forwarded it to the van. He wants her to climb into the front seat to notice the ring hanging from the rear view mirror. She’s distracted by the TV screens and GPS and pretty much everything but the ring. “God dammit, look at the rear view mirror,” Andy barks at her. He turns her head toward the ring. She immediately tells him he should take it down because if the light hits it, it might blind someone and cause an accident. Before she can answer his question, Silas calls on the van phone, saying he needs her for an emergency.

Nancy comes downstairs to find her husband having coffee with Pilar, who says she and Esteban have always been a great team. “So I’m guessing death, and/or blackmail and/or imprisonment is the glue that holds you together,” Nancy tells her. Esteban says they’ve come to an understanding. She flatly tells them she’s happy for them both. Pilar says Esteban will win, even married to Nancy, but it’d still be best if she stayed in the background. Nancy asks her to leave. Pilar invites her to a fundraiser at her house that night. She should come for 30 minutes, then get a headache and leave, she directs Nancy. Pilar leaves.

Nancy tells Esteban about looking for him yesterday and finding him on TV. He says Pilar knows everything, every indiscretion, documented and photographed. His options were to cooperate or go to prison for life.

Esteban goes in to kiss her but notices she’s wearing his deodorant. She says she likes the way it smells, but he tells her forcefully not to wear it again. “I get it, you’re the man,” she says.

Nancy calls a now free Guillermo. She tells him she wants it done today. He says it’s no problem.

Doug wakes up tied up in Celia’s storage locker. She explains that she’s going to go back to being a drug dealer since there are no black cops after her. She raves briefly about being a new lesbian, but quickly caves, saying she misses man parts. Doug doesn’t think she’s cut out to be a drug dealer since she folded so quickly. Doug says Nancy had a team. So Celia wants a team. Doug offers to team with her. Sensing her lack of options, Celia agrees.

In her house, Nancy runs into Andy and Audra (wearing the ring) in the hallway outside Adelita’s door. Silas comes out and thinks his mom knows. And then he has to tell her Adelita is a junkie.

Audra and Silas go check her out.

Nancy and Andy discuss downstairs. He says Audra hasn’t said yes yet. Andy catches Nancy gloating a little bit that Esteban’s perfect daughter is a junkie. Nancy explains her new plan where she can’t rely on men. “I’m not, I’m f—– steel,” Andy says. She agrees. Esteban wanders in.

Eventually Nancy tells him Audra is with his daughter. He thinks she’s pregnant. But Nancy tells him the truth. He thinks it’s impossible. And then he’s not quite sure what to say for a while. Finally he says “I can’t” and walks away. Well, Nancy says, then I will.

Celia greets her new team. Doug (co-team leader and finance), Dean (legal), Sanjay (sales), Ignacio (supply and, as Perro Isano, muscle) and Isabelle (brains).

Audra and Andy walk home. She’s still wearing the ring, but hasn’t answered. They walk inside, where they find crazy protester Gale wielding a crossbow. Andy runs away immediately, leaving Audra there alone with her dangerous stalker.

At the fundraiser, Silas says his mom arranged for Adelita to go to a rehab in Arizona. And it was weird seeing Esteban cry. Shane chugs champagne and asks his brother why he didn’t go to Europe. “Because it looked like you were going to go off the deep end, and I wanted to be around to jump in,” Silas says. Shane says he’ll be fine. Silas is also worried about their mom. He thinks one day her luck will run out.

Cesar tells Nancy to get used to Pilar and her ways. She says she’s prepared other ways. Nancy tells Esteban she’s leaving. He says he’s sorry about everything. He gives her his jacket and she walks out. Pilar walks out with her.

“So,” Pilar says, “Guillermo. Interesting choice.” Pilar tells Nancy next time she tries to have her killed Nancy might want to choose someone who doesn’t work for her and isn’t still mad at Nancy for ratting him out. Nancy turns to leave, and Pilar grabs her.

Nancy lists her grievances with Pilar, including that she took a shot at her and hit her kid and cut her husband’s balls off. Pilar suggests they add two more to the list: Shane and Silas. Nancy tells Pilar if she comes near her kids, she’ll kill her. Pilar coolly lists the ways they might go, in a car accident, a plane crash…. “Or a croquet mallet,” someone says as they whack her in the head, knocking her into the nearby pool. It’s Shane, who looks pretty pleased with himself. Nancy looks at him with a combination of relief and horror.

We fade out on Pilar, presumably lifeless, floating face down in the pool.